may all your christmases be white: a photographic essay

even in your pajamas:

even when you're forced to wear ridiculous holiday garb:

and even when you have to leave it all behind:
(when you probably shouldn't be driving at all)

winter: the way it should be.
finis.

huzzah!: first flurries of the season.
(please don't be the last)

yes, i am still alive,

and all i have to say today is this: leftover thanksgiving dinner care of sister+christopher eaten to the sound of sufjan stevens' songs for christmas is in fact bliss (even though end-of-semester hausaufgabe beckons and i'd rather decorate my house instead).

silly ol' bear...

-what are you supposed to be?
-i'm a little black rain cloud, of course.

needless to say, today we had a bath.

reasons i'm never going to zydeco again:

1. the assholes charge $1 for water
2. they evidently ganked the amps from spinal tap, and i still haven't gotten my hearing back
3. it's really just a samford fraternity house in disguise
4. did i mention the tinnitus?

i got off work early today because the library was on fire.


(ok, not really, just some mysterious smoke on the 2nd floor. )
the alarm went off, but i just assumed it was nothing serious, and made my way upstairs. they were replacing our dishwasher in the staff lounge, so i figured maybe the repairmen tripped something. au contraire. when i got outside, i heard there had been smoke billowing into the upstairs administrative offices (where, by the way, they had been conducting an interview). so yeah. about an hour later, a fireman escorted me downstairs so i could get my purse, keys, etc., while they continued to figure out what the hell was going on. i'm assuming the building will still be there tomorrow.

weird day.

(and the best part of that picture is that you can actually see the open garage from whence one of the two engines and two fire & rescue ambulances came, just to the left of the library, because oh yes, the fire department and police department are across the street from us.)

my sister is a supermodel.

school starts back on wednesday
[ypres.]

can i go to opelika and meet nephewoscar instead?
pweeeeeeeeeeease?

you probably already know this but,

we have a puppy.
she is a rockstar.
(even though she's terrified of the vacuum. among other things.)

can you wound yourself putting away a sweater?
[because i can.]

now is later:
sadly, no puppy, but at least now boy is seemingly converted to golden retriever love? for that, my dear a, i owe you zillions.

suspense
is
killing
me.

more on that later.

received a call from boy at work today, giddy as a six year old on christmas morning, asking if i had gotten his email. i had not. he instructed me to read it and call him back. i assumed by the level of sheer glee in his voice that it had something to do with a car or motorcycle, so i didn't get excited. i was correct. it was a link to this.

after calling him back to inform him that there was no way in hell we were buying a motorcycle, even if it is electric, he responded later with an email outlining the ten reasons i should let him buy one of these. a brief selection of amusing reasons follows, in order of hilarity:

"7. Not sure when the list will appear, but I've been on Brammo's email list for a couple of years now, and have been begging them to make this bike. I wrote them several emails and got replies from them discussing their progress in this direction. Well, they listened, and they are making it, and they emailed me personally today. They literally wrote ME an email about the bike... I'm not even kidding. Obviously, they would have made this bike without me, but they at least knew I was one of the people pushing for something like this to happen."

"5. It's not a hooligan bike, it just looks like one. It has plenty of power, but not so much that it's death on wheels, and it weighs almost exactly the same amount as my old bike, so it should be very familiar."

"8. Pretty please..? with an Audi on top?"

"9. I promise to never ever ever nag you about healthy stuff ever again."

"P.S...How could I not be immediately promoted to coolest guy in Alabama if I got one of these!?"

sigh.
i, of course, caved because i don't feel i have the right to prevent it. [and he nailed me on that in the opener: "Remember how you said, you couldn't say no to a motorcycle because it's the one thing I've always wanted... "
also, i plan on milking this until my dying day: if he's set on selfishly flouting his safety to find happiness, i'll certainly do the same.
(new york here we come.)

sister was a beautiful bride. sadly, being integral in making things happen meant that i didn't get many pictures [as established during my wedding three years ago, maid of honor=archetypal loyal retainer, and thus remains busy keeping bride happy. oh yes, sister and i are englishnerds]. boy got a few during the reception, and i'm hoping more will show up on facebook soon.
i can't believe it's over, because i've been looking forward to it for so long. it was definitely even better than i could have hoped for, and the infamous paper flowers were incredible:









see how happy they are?!

there is a lawn service in my neighborhood that uses a hearse to trailer its equipment.
most of it is white.
the hood, however, is black.
with flame detailing.
true story.

sister is married.
so
so
so
fantastic.
pictures forthcoming.

today is my three-year anniversary. part of me can hardly believe it's been three years, but then again, my memories of the wedding are all blurred. sister's wedding is saturday, and there has been a barrage of "when" and "how-many/much" questions lately that i don't remember the answers to. sort of depressing, but, i hope, freeing to her as she sees that three years out, what wine you picked or what order you held things won't really matter.

boy certainly outdid himself this year on the gift, with a fabulous leather monolith (for once, no exaggeration there): a signed first edition of botanica magnifica, which is basically the audubon birds of america to flowers, only the photography is also art. beautiful stunning art. also, it might be worth more that my car. being the library nerd that i am, i looked it up on worldcat and only 155 libraries worldwide own a copy. only five in alabama. and then there's me.

balance.

am officially not a fan of imax.
will postpone reaction to eclipse until i see it in a real theater.

although the cardboard cut-outs were super fun. (creepy guy with edward-hair, posing in photos with people, was not, however.) thanks mcwane center:






p.s. lynde: i love the way bella is giving you the eye over your shoulder, as if to say, "why are you touching him when he's in love with me. did you even watch the movie?"

today, we were invited to the wedding of people we do not know.
in pennsylvania.
phone convo went down as follows:
me: do you know ____ or _____?
matt: no, why?
me: because we're invited to their wedding.
matt: um. i don't know them. let me look on facebook...never seen her in my life. he looks familiar, but i don't know where i know him from? maybe alabama?

roughtly ten minutes later, the phone rings again:
matt: he's my cousin.
me: ?


even more later, he calls again and asks what i want to do tonight, i answer that i don't know yet, so he asks, do i want to go to the gym. um, no. [thinking: hi, i'm stephanie, have we met? because i don't do health.] while the whole exercise, going for a run thing is great for him, it's just not my bag. and now is not the time to turn into that andrew kid from the breakfast club.

if you can't find me, it's because i've moved to alaska.

things i do not like:
cooking
laundry
weeding
mosquitoes
my yard
humidalabamaheat [can it be september yet?]

the only thing that didn't suck about today was germany beating australia 4-0.

hooray for front gears!
[and finally learning how to use them]
green springs, we're cool.

scott's going to have a bad christmas

for the sixth (?) year in a row, i'm being subjected to steve jobs' keynote address:
"hi, i'm steve. i make awesome (albeit unnecessary) shit that you can't live without. like the ipad...[an hour passes]...and the new iphone 4. it's made of glass and stainless steel. i'd show you all the cool things it does, but i can't get a connection in here...out."

even though boy already knows about everything being revealed in the video, we're watching it. and he'll still weep on the inside because stevo remains obstinate about flash.
which means i don't get a prettyoolalamacbookpro any time soon

don't get excited yet.

step one on the road to[eventual] parenthood: matt & stephanie get a puppy
i've managed to keep the indoor plant alive for a whole year, so methinks it's time to move onward. first, library-nerd reads up on how to take care of one...any suggestions? i requested the everything puppy book and bringing up puppy on hold at the library (yes, i'm too lazy to drive to hoover?)

i just saw the future of music in the age of the helicopter parent: imagine michael cera with a "magical" guitar, on tour with...his mom. who waxed on and on and on and on and on about his girlfriend of one year (!), about whom all but two of his songs were written. being nineteen is so hard. esp being away from home for two whole months. [gasp] and looking back on "like, senior year" [read: last year. really. we talked to his mom.]

the music was actually kind of decent, but i've never felt so old in my life. we were literally the only people there over the age of 21 who weren't chaperoning their children or in one of the other bands.

the following act, however, was phenomenal.
(and a grown up. who knows how to write poetry and put it to song.)
many thanks to l&l for a fantastic evening of music and mockery.

you know how library book dust jackets come wrapped in plastic?
i officially suck at doing that.

also, alabama republicans frighten me.
(i'm hoping when i wake up tomorrow morning, tj will not be at the top of that list. even though i have no right to complain because i didn't vote--maybe one day someone in jeff. co. will man the registration desk???--i'm going to whine about it anyway. i still have to live here. and watch tv, sometimes.)

more pictures, because i figured out how to import them from le iphone (squeals)

the last crab.
(p.s. this represents the first and last time i will ever order whole crabs)


last sunset.

the most glorious bathroom in the world; sadly, it wasn't mine.
[please ignore my midsection.]

need a reminder that it's a national holiday weekend meant to be spent outdoors?

look out the window.
that's right kids, it's raining. we've been back from tybee island for eighteen hours (most of which were spent sleeping, including a two-hour nap between dinner and porch time with l), and it's stormed for most of it. yessssss. so much for oak mountain, grilling, a bike ride, or the pool...on to laundry/reorganizing life from post-vacation chaos.

aber zuerst, a quick vacation recap:
1. the atlantic ocean enjoys expensive eye-wear, and doesn't give it back
2. riding bikes on the beach is perfectly normal and surprisingly easy on the east coast
3. my niece is the most adorable child on the planet. (e+e, are you trying to break my resolve?)
4. rum-punch and calm seas make any day at the beach all the more fantastic
5. you can burn the bottoms of your feet, just like everywhere else
6. visiting the wilke's boarding house and paula deen's on the same day may be hazardous to your health
7. scad students should beware of tour bus drivers: they mock you daily, even as they praise what your school has done for the city
8. many magical things can be created from peaches; wine is not one of them
9. you can go fishing on tybee, but you won't catch anything
10. when vacationing with a family of eight, it is impossible to read all ten books you selected (four + familial interaction seems a more acceptable balance, yes?)





will that suffice, lucy?

care of lauren d. via facebook (because i want to remember this forever):

"(Two kids in a library [not mine]). Guy 1: So I was in class and I heard someone refer to hipsters as the Doucheoisie. Guy 2: So, what does that make frat boys? The Broletariat? Guy 1: Well it does make sense if you think about it. We always see a struggle between the broletariat and the doucheoisie."

p.s. cue the alice cooper, because the school year is officially done.
[as a side note, prof. led us in singing this aloud during our collection development class last week. it began as a five minute recap of trying to remember what the actual lyrics were, then a group song.]

one paper down, one to go. + one presentation on friday (ypres.)

also, i have a new job. at emmet o'neal library in mt. brook.
too much to do to be excited about it, yet, though...

when school is out, i promise i'll write things again.
seriously.

i can tell when i'm depressed because all i want to do is curl up in bed, switch myself off, and go to sleep.
what i don't understand is why?
i have so much to do but i can't make myself do it.
and being overwhelmed by the fact that it's thursday, it's still dreary and cold outside, i have no car, and i've yet to do one damn thing, isn't helping. if i go another day without human contact, i might self-destruct.

can i get a spring break redo?

imagine:
boy sitting in front of laptop.
boy pulls out iphone to send an email.

"but it's such a hassle to log iiiiiiiiiiin"
seriously?

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

(this is what boy sent me during my library technology class that almost made me lose it. don't you want to pet it? embrace it? comfort it?)

they're here........

*cue dramatic rendition of all by myself*
also, i just realized why everyone at work kept telling me that i had cool tights before realizing it was a knee brace: it's reflective! so, i've been walking hobbling around looking like a member of devo or something all day. fantastic.

[backstory on the brace=boy and i went ice skating on saturday. that should probably be enough of an explanation for those of you who know me, but in the interest of my pride, i will continue: i made it an hour-and-a-half through the two hour free skate without falling down. until. lil' miss decides it's fun to skate furiously against the flow and take a dive right in front of me. in a moment of selfless glory, i lept/swerved and avoided killing her only to land on the ice myself. boy's attempt to save my fall coupled with my skate digging into the ice left my leg and knee in a very unnatural split as i did a glorious spin-and-fall. things popped, and i remember looking at my leg with dismay as boy was pulling me and thinking, "it's going to rip off my body. goodbye leg." the leg i still there, nothing is broken, but walking isn't pretty. how's that to cap off a weekend that was otherwise incredible?]

so, this just made my life:

matt: "more like under destruction"
i went to the live 100.5 website to look up the name of a song, and they've already taken it down. sosad.

ilovesnowsobad.

magicmagicmagic.

never did i need uah to make the most-read story on bbc world service.
this is insane.

update: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/15/us/15alabama.html?emc=eta1

boy is sitting outside in the cold shooting a bebe gun at a homemade target comprised of an empty bud light box with a hand-drawn bulls-eye taped to the front.

why.

yesyesyesyesyesyesyes.

bring it.

dear rats,
please stop dying under my house. go pester someone else, bitte.

no hard feelings, s

...

dear pest control guy,
prevent them from getting in rather than poisoning them once they get there. remind me what i'm paying you for again? [because this smell isn't it.]

disgruntled, s

begin: second quarter.
(happy birthay to me! for nine more mintues, that is)

everyday should begin with cookie cake and the daily show.
although i could do without the roofers across the street....

my pick won the caldecott!
(sorry, i've really sucked at this blogging thing of late)

two things that made my day (apart from spending the afternoon with anna and then seester):
tale of the worst massage ever
dan brown rippage

thank you, huffington post.
thank you.
i love this kid.

rolltide.

this is how we feel when we win a national championship. great faces all around, friends.
(we're going to pretend that i don't look pregnant in that last one?
it's the dress, i swear.)

you know how the stereotypical battered wife gives the "i ran into a door" excuse for a black eye?
yeah. i actually did that today. face bounced off the door frame on the way to the floor.
thermal ski socks + wood floors = bad news.
bellaswan out.

huzzah! if only that gray part dipped a little farther south...