Marcel the Shell has a book!!!

In case you are unfamiliar with the pure felicity that is wee-Marcel, you should watch this and be joyful:

and this (because it only gets better):

thankyouandgoodnight.

i slacked off again...
there was thanksgiving. and now christmas decorating (can it stop raining so i can get a tweeeee?)

in expectation of flury of magic, i offer this bit of sound advice, care of facebook:

happy twirling.

This thing scares the shit out of me on a daily basis:

We bought it to combat the dead rat smell, and it worked quite well. however. now that the fan is off and the door is open, it's benefits are waning. It goes off every 30 minutes, at which point my heart stops momentarily and I wonder what the hell has broken into my bathroom and started hissing at me. It is entirely possible that I was a squirrel in another life.

the underbelly of my bathtub holds no veritable smorgasbord

yet: that is where boy *finally* found the source of the wretchedsmell. at the moment, he's spray foaming between the floor joists so no other unwelcome visitors will be tempted to shroud themselves in our insulation. shudder.whataweekend.

#multiculturalfail

So, I was under the impression that Christmas and Hanukkah decorations were mutually exclusive.  This board books seems to think they are for the same hoilday. I mean, it would be different if they mentioned Hanukkah in reference to the menorah because sure, some families might celebrate both...but. um. they don't say anything about it.  At least they got the gift of light part right?

I spent just about all day in craft stores on my day off trying to perfect our Halloween costumes (and make my vision of babydog's costume a reality). I still have a little snipping and stitching to do to finish my little Wookie's utility belt (omgomgomg), but I just finished up my Temperance Brennan garb. While I'm sure I'm supposed to wait until after the parties and holiday to share, I'm just too damn proud of what I managed to create in Word. I feel like I should be able to submit the following as proof as my awesomeness for any library position:

(I'll fold it in the middle and have a front and back.)
If you have no idea what this is, learn.

good morning.
enjoy some broship with your coffee

I made a wreath!
myself.
with my own vision.
and hands.
etc.:

 

I'm ecstatic that it is actually staying together and that I managed to tie a decent looking bow (who knew?)! It's supposed to freeze tonight (yay!?) so maybe the frost will cement everything in place? Though quite sure nature doesn't work that way, it'd be nice not to wake up to it in tatters on my lawn.

On to the good stuff though, because oh was there goodness at the ol' 'brary today.  Yet another contender for the Urban Outfitter children's library is People by Blexbolex.  Though it remains legitimately amazing, in my opinion, despite the weirdness, it was filled with "people" that were definitely not a part of wee-Steff's vocabulary (nor any other child I know).  While there were plenty of normal entries like "mother," "boy," and "mailman," etc., the best examples are represented below. Jouir:

 obviously, the same thing?

 

right...

 

artsy babies also enjoy street art?

obviously a French not an American book, though once more proof that only people you don't want to see in the buff walk around that way.

this one just made me laugh--is there actually a French word for that?

because hipster babies party hard into the night.

(though mostly, this was just in honor of sister+christopher)

à la prochaine!

(Artsy Babies Wear Paint, by Michelle Sinclair Colman)

Double entendres and art humor for the under-5 category?  priceless. Evidently this is only one in a whole series of witty board books I can't wait to get my hands on, which include: Urban Babies Wear Black, Foodie Babies Wear Bibs, and Rocker Babies Wear Jeans, etc.  Perfect for the hipster parent, I wouldn't be shocked to find this in an Urban Outfitter's one day (or maybe here).

I was ecstatic to wake up today and find that it was *actually fall* outside. Very likely, I was the only person happy to be walking through the windycold Crestline Village this morning, tucked snugly into the first coat of the season.  Boy's being stubborn about getting a pumpkin--always wants to wait til the last minute--but I think I may cave and get one this week.  I'm also contemplating a fall wreath, though I don't know if I have the time or skill to make that happen in a manner fitting of my front door.  Scrooge McMatt will surely scoff (being the hater of all seasonal holidays that he is), but we'll see what can be found at the HobbyLobby tomorrow...

(Hooray for Amanda and Her Alligator!, by Mo Willems)

If my dog were an alligator, I imagine this is how our I'm-reading-but-I'm-bored interaction would go down, as well. As it is, [not-so]babydog makes audible sighs while staring at me, her eyes full of sorrow. Either that or she tries to lick my book to death--not the best treatment for library books...


I'm going to try something new on the blog, since I can't seem to motivate myself to write about anything any more.  I'm going to start adding snapshots of some of the many unbelievable, fantastic, hilarious, bizarre, and/or disturbing books that come across my desk.  I toyed with the idea of making another site for this, but since the ol' blog sits here neglected most of the time, I thought perhaps this could entice me back into the habit--like bizarre journal prompts from English class.

I had a job interview week before last at an intermediate school, but sadly, did not get the job.  It was just a temporary position that only would have lasted 'til the end of the semester when the librarian came back from maternity leave, but it would have been nice to get a little school-library experience under my belt...The interview went really well, but I'm pretty sure my inexperience counted against me--who wants to throw a first-time teacher in a mid-semester position? Oh well. I'm hoping scads of librarians will retire amid all of the retirement funding chaos (or, hope against hope, a certain university down the road will call me back???).  In the mean time, I still really enjoy the j.o.b. at EOL, but the part time hours and lack of money are weighing on me, especially since the student loan monster has already come 'a knocking [shudder]. There are a few prospects on the horizon, though, so maybe?

because it doesn't get nerdier than that:

I think all I ever write on here anymore is that I'm planning on writing again, but it never happens...because nothing happens worth writing about, I guess? Or I'm to busy? Or perhaps I'm just too lazy. [ding!] I did have an interview today, though! Good news there might inspire a post...finally.

I'm trying something new these days: I'm told it's called exercise?
Riley taking me out [read: running at me at full force and knocking me to the ground in manner of a bowling ball meeting the pins] in the backyard three weeks ago put a kink in the who running plan for a while, but one knee brace and lot of rest, ice, and ibuprofen later, I'm back in the game. (Note to future self: when dog runs at you with ball, move.) Anyway. I've been taking said dog for a walk every day this week, and I went for my first post-injury run today.  Just to clarify though, before you get too impressed, my running is more rulking [wunning?], but I intend to improve, eventually. If I can manage to do this on a regular basis, I plan to reward myself with athletic apparel. While I was never anything but a faux-athlete, I am a sucker for the stuff.  Inexplicably, I have the same reaction in a Nike store as I do when I walk into an Anthropologie [want. everything], which has always weirded  me out a little...

Nothing like a little vanity and materialism to keep you going, right?
We'll see how it goes.
Hopefully health will also occur. Side effect, no?

happy birthday to the hobbit!
(and tomorrow, to dear ol' bilbo himself)

while fully intending to write an actual post [gasp!], i got distracted with formatting changes and have actually given self migraine trying to center my header. with that unexpectedly mammoth achievement completed, i end.

back to bed, then, maybe?
hurrah for a day off.

there's no place like home, toto

yesterday, i found a small, shaggy dog wandering (seemingly) aimlessly in the street in the rain. being human, i called him over and set him up on my back porch. after calling the vet's number on the tag, i got in touch with the owner. it turns out, they live two doors down, across the street. go figure. she isn't home, so i walk him home and put him back in his yard

not five minutes later, i hear a jingle and riley's nose is glued to the side door. guess who's outside? i call my neighbor again, and she says she'll just come by and get him between errands. she puts him back in her yard, rigs up whatever obstacle that usually prevents his escape, and leaves again.

maybe ten minutes later, omgwe'rebackagain. i call her back, she says her parents should be home, so i walk him back over and knock on the door. no one answers, so i again put him in the yard and hope for the best.

i walk back, talk to the neighbors a bit, meet matt who's back from his run, laugh about the whole situation, learn that each of them has also returned this dog before, and then go home and start making dinner. as i'm washing my vegetables, i see a white flash dash across my side porch. oh yes, he's back again. he manages to squeeze through the rails of the deck into the backyard, but doesn't seem to be able to get back out. so, we leave him there while we eat, resolved to call again after we finish our dinner.

neighbor calls me and apologizes because she thought her parents were at the house, and i tell her that i put him back in the yard and he trotted right back. she's headed home for the evening, so she'll come by to get him.

this time, he staid at home (so far).
evidently my backyard is a fantastic place (even though there is a monster of a golden retriever who playfully pounced on him and chased him under my house?)

anything but the yearling, taylor. anything but the yearling.

in celebration of my "graduation," i'm sharing yet another scenario proving that my town is the stars hollow of the south. i received this in an email this morning, summarizing the parks and recreation board meeting from the night before:

"Even more revealing is the board's stance on Friday Night Flicks. One board member, in considering approval of the program, asked to remove "Grease" and "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" from the lineup because of the adult material (Grease) and risk of attracting the wrong crowd (Potter) and creating a security problem--his words. The rep[orter] from CW21 at that point said she thought the program was already approved because she'd been working on it since a February meeting with Berkley. Who really knows, but the board dug in and approved the lineup with the exception of the two offending movies. The rep[orter], reminding the board that Homewood was not populated exclusively by five-year-olds, had to accept the terms.

So you'll have to go across the street to the library to check out those movies ."

all i could think of as i resisted the urge to spit my coffee all over my computer screen was this.
one day i'll write about last week, but i'm not mentally ready to process that yet.

"obviously rhetorical"

so good, i had to blog it, too:

rodents don't lie.

i'd just like to recognize that last thursday, i awoke to find at least an inch of snow on my lawn.
today, i'm sporting a t-shirt and capris.
the high for today is 71-degrees.
conversely, a woman not yet willing to be defeated by spring stood in line with me at the satellite courthouse this morning. she was decked out in denial as she waited impatiently to renew her car tag: ugg[ly] boots, complete with a matching fleece hat and vest.
i'm ridiculously cold natured, but plz.

for those of you who know how much i love sleep...

this is my life.
thank-you, exploding dog.

is it possible to surgically alter your dog's bark?
obnoxiousneighbordog disappeared for a couple of days and then reappeared with a much softer bark. it lacks that loud, shrill roll that earned him the number one spot on the hit lists of every sane person within a 3-mile radius.
perplexing.
fortunate, but still perplexing.

imagine the following scene outside your window:

dog looking forlornly at the fence line.
dog thinks: where are my friends?
i think: inside; it's cold, you dope.

[wind gusts]

dog frantically chases wind around the yard, yapping at it with her jaws as if she could catch it. inner turmoil ensues: to be annoyed that it disturbed her, or pleased that she has a worthy (albeit invisible) adversary to chase?

in case we needed another reason to suspect i'll be diabetic by age 30:
upon discovering we were low on milk, i chose cake + ice cream for breakfast over cereal; otherwise, there might not have been enough milk for my second cup of sugar-filled coffee. [disaster!]

back to reading about dendrites, children's brains, and youth services.
yum.

so how awesome is it that 3 of my review books from my ya course made it onto the school library journal battle of the books list?
huzzah.
(for numbers 1, 4, & 9)

boy: what would you think about giving the paleo diet a try?
me: i'm sorry, have we met?

for some reason, i really wanted a salad today, and (drum roll, please) i ate one. it had tomatoes and everything. (plus cheese, fried chicken and enough dressing to cancel out all health benefits.)

now hoping the fact that i was craving the latter ingredients (including the ceasar dressing that we didn't have??!) means i'm not pregnant or something. the severity of me actually wanting a tomato is worrying, right?

cannot
motivate
intellectual
faculties.

my loves.

happiness=boy and dog.